Saturday, Jul. 14, 2007 - 10:01 p.m.
Do You Know David Letterman?
***********************************
Its been raining chunks of water
for the last couple of days
interspursed with searing heat
people squint
at the amasing sheets of heavenly water
during the cloud pounding
then gasp for air like dying trout
when the sun comes out
depending how much TV they watch
their response is either
" This is an unusually intense summer "
or this is your basic
" end of the world -
global warming is here to get the petroleum sinners "
Jinky just sleeps through it all
awaking only to eat
or mooch a massage
I know he's there somewhere
under the stairs leading to the basement
because when he awakens to scratch
his little neck bell tinkles from that direction
So I walked him down to the river
last night at sunset to get some breeze
watch the lake winds churn and whip the waves
and smash them on the beach
the water was invading the land
Some vandal had unravelled an old video tape
and long ribbons of black pieces of it
tangled up in a bush snaked wildly into the air
Wildeyed Jinky absolutely loved this effect
shook off his hot weather indifference
and tore into it like a mongoose at a cobra
His dogwalking fanclub thought this was hilarious
and gathered at the meadow above the lake to watch
the Undefeated Scarlet Avenger
....................VS........................
Superior Quality Memorex Videotape
fight to the death
as manic winds raged yonder
A family of four applauded most:
smilng bubbly neat pressed Mom,
glad hand sports shirt Dad
and their two small blond daughters
wearing new sparkly running shoes
They were from Indiana
and made sure we heard all about it
my first culture based question was ,
of course..
"Do you know David Letterman? "
They smiled, in an easy grace
and shared that he was from
just south of where they lived..
and seemed genuinely pleased
that I knew this facet of
contemporary Indiana
-capitol of the world and nearby planets
I learned
They had never been out of
the USA before
and this was their first day in Canada
They had driven from NYC in 2 days
and crossed the International bridge at Buffalo
How did they like it here ?
- Canada and the rest of the world
Just fine, fine'
" Canada is-" they told me
" for the most part
just like home "
" Was the lake always this wild? " they asked
No just today, its us usually glass smooth
except in winter, and spring and fall
and the start and end of summer
Ha I realised,
except for two weeks a year the lake is pretty crazy
however, to its credit
the wild anxious air had completely erraced every trace
of rain fog
evil city pollution
and atmostpheric haze
the view across the lake was cartoon crystal clear
We could see the silloette of downtown Toronto
straight across the lake
its... uh.. 33 miles straight across to the city
translating from metric km's
to US stand alone measurement distance
" there are 2.5 million people living in Toronto yonder "
- they had no idea
" and the CN tower there on the horizon --
is way taller than the Empire State Building"
They didn't believe that
till someone else was able to confirm
the relative heights of the ESB and the CNT
in house stories if not in feet
and show that the CN tower
was indeed, the hands down taller structure
Ok no comment til Wikpedia is consulted
Dad asked me confidentially
where the best fishing was in Ontario?
I pointed out right in front of him'' there"
right off those rocks= world class bass salmon and trout
enormous sturgeon and monster muskies
he didn't believe me..
till I pointed out this was a _great lake
easily recognised from outer space
its an inland sea
120 miles long 300 feet deep- icebergs float by in winter
dad wondered aloud
why his own government
had kept this all hidden from him--
a secret foreign city
a collossal telecommunications tower
a freshwater lake bigger than Holland-
and highly trained
small red cats
as smart as dogs
The girls were suitably impressed with Jinky
who jumped like a lion at their dangling shoelaces
I showed them how to get him to chase a small stick
reward him with a cheek rub
they took turns hugging him
and letting him chase sticks
he was commando determined fierce with sticks
and Jonny Depp cool gentle with girls
the mighty Jinky-
wildlife ambassador and storm marshal
to the Peoples Republic of Indianna
Dad pressed me again
" can he just fish anywhere then? "
I told him he has to buy a visitors fishing license
before going after her majestys game..
its just a couple of bucks..easy to get
pick one up at any Canadian Tire..
" I beg your pardon? " he asked
" a store that sells rubber automobile tires
sells fishing permits..? "
ya and everything else-
its like Wallmart
"YOOOO have Wallmarts here??" squeeled the Mom
" they are everywhere in the world now" I pointed out
" even in China"
"In _China??" she gasped??
I got the distinct impression
she was going to research hard on Google
before she voted
in the next US election
And Niagara Falls,..
whats the deal there?
is it really any good??
they were considering
going there tomorrow..
but were concerned if it was
going to be another fundimental letdown
the last t few minutes
had been a disasterous
Late Night with Letterman top ten countdown
of cherished cultural slapdowns..
and viewing the falls in person as a family
was obviously
their number one sacred dreamquest..
so- level with me
are we gonna get
_suckered _
...........................or what?
I told them as honestl;y as my heart could say
" Definately..see Niagara Falls
it is indeed -
totally
totally
completely
100%
awesome
a wonder of the world
that defies description
' and no photo or video
does it proper justice
in a world of letdowns...
Niagara Falls is
the real thing..
your girls
will love it'
it will
change
your
life
a pefect perpetual full arc
double rainbow hovers overtop
shining forever and ever
as the sunshine hits the mist
the wonderful big wild water
never stop falling
never ever ever
here is something good
that goes on forever
not all good things must pass
Niagara Falls has never stopped
being wonderfull
for 10,000 years...
a fraction of its power
makes all the electricity
for tens of millions of people
in eastern Canada and the US
It is the real thing alright
Niagara Falls is even better than they say
.......way better
way, way better "
The girls were now applauding for Jinky
as he paraded himself
back and forth along a park bench
waving his tail like a flag
smiling into the wind
glad for their keen attentions
and grateful for the double sets of rubs
he as well never ceases to be interested
in playing around
And as the nameless Indiana family waved goodbye
the girls called back
" Thats one nice cat you got there "
I didn't yell out he was also
the best cat in the world
in case _they had
the best cat in the world
back in Indianna..
in training to do stupid pet tricks on
the late night TV show
of Indianas Secretary of Culture
