Saturday, May. 17, 2008 - 6:08 p.m.
Doing Hard Time with a Kitten
********************************
Ok hes aclimitised to here
and his brief modesty phase
has completely passed
Taser is a biter
I lay in bed reading
as he bites me
I figure its a signal hes hungry
so i get up and fed him his tuna
and he eats his midnight fill
in the dark quiet of the kitchen
and retuns licking his lips
and starts biting me obviously its not hunger
just the desire to
bite
bite
bite me
My wrists are shredded
the borders of my book
are pierced with hundreds of
tiny bite marks
mostly through the dust jacket
but he will seize the cover
between his tiny jaws
and bite and shake it like
he did the mouse
the other day
10 weks old and hes already bite crazy
I wrestle with him with one hand
on the blanket
and turn the pages with the other
he detects incincerity in my response
and takes full advantage and bites down hard on the tip of my index finger
and I can feel the tiny fanh goe in deep
and I shake him off with a loud OWWW
and see he has drawn blood
at the point of puncture
hes at an age & stage of development
when other kittens get photographed
because they are the ideal adorable size
and are easily posed with cute props
But I have a real biter here
a full blown jawi stretching
warm blood seeking
vampire bat kitten
I have to figure out how to
tire him out before I
turn in for the night
I have not had a full nights sleep
since he arrived
maybe thats the price of
keeping a spring borne kitten
It probably the case
There is only 13 more months of this
before h attains his full size
and at the rate he is growing
he will end up cougar sized
by this time next year
Hoiw will I explain to wildlife officers
that hes just a cat and not a wild thing
maybe I should get familiar with
the wildlife services
in case there is a need for
a tranquillizer dart guns at the rate
the mighty Taser is growing
he will be biting off chunks of my flesh
by July or August
Maybe its the catfood I feed him
leftover Christmas gifts for Jinky
snack packs for the special cat in your life f
ive flavours of ofal
if so, that doesn't explain anything
I think I will have to start wearing
long sleeves during the day
just in case people imagine
I am commiting suicide
with wild rose bushes
Puppies will destroy $1000 worth of
household shoes and furniture
before any sort of training kicks in
I am lucky that kittens don't eat clothes
not so luckly that they prefer live game
I am live game
even when sleeping
