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Sunday, Aug. 17, 2008 - 11:08 p.m.

Love Patrol
***********
I was on the driveway at 5:30
talking to Dave who had
a bunch of dusty old LPS
he got from somebody
and he wanted me
to see the covers
before he did anything else

It was a bunch of late 60s stuff
in real bad shape
mouldy warped covers
from looooong storage
in an creepy wet basement
ancient greasy vinyl discs
that needed a lecel of TLC
no sane person
would be prepared to give them
and most of it was crap anyway :
-assorted Christmas music,
-some no name black disco singers
- empty AVVA cover with no record inside
-Willie Nelson before he was a senior citizen
-the Guess Who-

1972 never seemed as far away
as it did tonight on the driveway
might as well have been 1972 BC

more deeply scratched mouldy
Smothers Brothers' comedy albums..
the list just gets worse from here

Nothing worth a million dollars
nothing worth 99 cents
even the cardboard box
was garbage
just waiting
to happen


as we laughed at the bad cover art
of this loser pile of 60s music
the two 8 year old bicycle girls
from yesterday
rode up my driveway
wearing their regulation helmets

on an official visit-
business

with such dramatic presence
as they rolled to a halt
a few feet away from us standing there

"Where's the kitten ? they asked
without hesitation.
raising their chins in coy defiance
as if they were each packin' Uzis
and not afraid to use it

-" He was here a minute ago"
I whistle for him
and Taser comes running
from across the street
and immediately races over to the girls
who bend at the waist
straddling their pink bikes
to stroke his charming red self
as we carry on mocking
the entire decade of the 60s..
" Oh heres Abby Road..
rare special issue-
no record inside.. "
ha ha

the girls blink at us being wise guys '
mildly curious about what we were doing
but kept a respectable distance

Dave held out an
exceptionally warped & mouldy copy
of an Elvis LP- before he was fat.

"Do you know who this IS?" dave asked the girls
both of whom were born almost 30 years after
the King of crap music died

" yes.." the littlest one said
" Elvis "

E L V I S

We were floored these small unassuming
thoroughly 21st Century girls
recognised the so called
King of 20th C Rock 'n Roll..

" do they teach you about that in school?" I asked
_ "About what? " the girls replied
" About old school music "
_ " No.. we learn about... Canada "
"Then how did you know that this..."
pointing to the very much vintage LP cover
" ...was Elvis? "

_ " It says Elvis"

Indeed, the front of the LP
had the single word " ELVIS "
in bright yellow three inch high capital letters
-hard for anyone
to miss that important clue
if they can read

the girls blinked silently at me
likely thinking I was a moron
who was just fortunate enough
to own a cute red kitten
who responded so well
to their attentions

" I'm taking him to the lake in a little while.
he will be there till the street lights come on"

"Cool" they called out in unison
as they sped off
on their policewoman bikes
to report to
their respective families headquarters
for Sunday dinner

I guess Taser is cool
it only took him
ive months
to become cool-
cool enough to have
his own fan club

 

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