Tuesday, Apr. 14, 2009 - 3:37 p.m.
Art Missionary
***************
Today I gave a telephone interview
a reporter from the city newspaper
called here and asked me about
our famous summer festival
Obviously she read our press release
very carefully
I used the descriptor
" famous"
four times in three paragraphs
in case there was any doubt
I underlined them with a red pencil
Th newspaper is a dead boring
dead straight conservative organ of nothingness
big houses for sale,
attrractive bank rates,
little kids wearing expensive casual clothes
recipies with salmon in them
blonde designer dogs
new silver cars
black marble counter tops
white chocolate desserts
bi lingual fitness clubs
so we thought we would reach out
to the condo crowd there
and make it easy for them
to drive into our little town
in June
to experience a free concert
and have a good time
with the creative leaders of the region
- that being us
whew talk about twisting arms
We can attract all the culture freaks
and grungie artist rejects we want-
hey its a free all day outdoor show in June
but hey, why not go for the straights?
So my point was promote the show
as a straight event to the straights
we would pretend to
pretend Bohemian superstars
joke being we actually are
what you see us being
so now the white chocolate
will show up
and have a great time
it's time to mingle
its never time to divide into lifestyle cliques
I am dead against Aparteid
or class distinctions of any kind
and that goes _double for art
So i did the interview
like an art missionary
knowing full well
my every sentence
would be sacred newspaper copy
by the weekend
and the other media
would just grab it and run
Everybody wants to be part of the hype
of a "famous" summer music festival
its famous
because i say so
I was super careful to paint our show
as a straight family day straight safe and clean
other people can put up posters
of batwing skulls with illegable lettering
to drag in their Goth community
or the ruler bright jocks can make it all a race-
who cares?
I gave the distinct impression
we are :
an earth friendly youth club
self financed by Church dinners
holding a safe dull
vice free talent show
in a public park
during daylight hours
as our grandparents look on
from folding chairs
under the auspices of the Parks Dept
blessed by the mayor
and all the local merchants
home in bed by 11 pm
drifting off to chaste,
sober, drug free sleep
clutching cloth animals
of the rain forest
we had fun
pretending/dressing up as
hippies. hobos and artists from the 60s
actually most of us dress like that anyway-
thats all the clothes we own
Gramma is indeed invited we recycle
the drunks are kept at one end
away from normal people
almost everybody is a stoner
but you wouldn't know it
and it will be wrapped up by 10 pm
the mayor hasn't said anything bad
so its all good
truth in advertising
always needs a rewrite
