Tuesday, Apr. 14, 2009 - 11:01 p.m.
Madness, Coffee and a Raspberry Danish
*******************************************
Spring is not a rebirth fresh start
for everybody I learning
I sat having coffee with a
musicians girlfriend'
while he raced back home'
to get a CD of his stuff
I made a joke-
" hey nice chunky bracelet
ha ha are you a cutter ? "
ha ha she was' a cutter
and apparently still is
here she sits
drinking decaf
making small talk
beautiful, educated,
hooked up a great guy
and she cuts her arms
like a sawmill on her off hours
Why she told me her story
I will never know
maybe she tells everybody
maybe thats her problem'
she has to get a reaction
to move forward
she and her BF are both
quitting alcohol but still love pot
like fat kids love pie
oh well-
thats beautiful for you
No wonder the show
" Intervention" is doing so well
its the spin off show of " Lost "
next show in the series might be
"I'm fucked up, please help me"
Did you have a good winter?
I asked, trying to change the subject
" Never have I been so depressed"
she told me
" that cutting or drinking seem futile.
My mind knows they will numb me
but it also knows the loneliness
will return and any form of
self medication would be
short lived
and leave me darker
than I was before."
- a basket of kittens
is not gonna help this girl
"All hope is gone
and after falling from
acceptance to depression
back and forth
I�ve finally realized there is
a stage after acceptance
that is just depression again."
I think she has been practising
this monologue till
she got the despair tempo
down ....just .....right
The musician guy I hardly know
but he seems functional
and a heck of a good sport -
to his credit :
he is a very productive songwriter
but now I am recalling
some of his random lines-
that he's a better writer
when he's miserable.
I thought he was joking me
ha ha he wasn't
with a gf like her
he's gonna be brilliant
but shes gonna be laid out dead
before he hits the bigtime
maybe thats where operas come from:
sing the life you never had
I don't think Mozart was depressed
or if he was
nobody ever mentioned it.
maybe Mrs Mozart was bonkers
oh and black widow across the table
has an eating disorder
I didn;t dare ask about her allergies
I think spend too much time alone
if normal life scares me this much
