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Sunday, Apr. 19, 2009 - 9:36 a.m.

Bird Poop For Allah
********************


There are a series of small isolated islands off the coast of Chile where sea birds go to relieve themselves. These islands are little more than one big avian toilet .
Over time, this bird poop has backed up and is many many metres deep,. Because this region of the world does not receive much rain, the poop mumifies and accumulates into a dense, white chalky mass calld "guano"

In the early 19th century Chile leased out the rights to mine this guano to Europeans and received a royalty on every ton of fossil bird poop carted away. These Europeans were so desperate for guano they out bid each other for rights to gather guano. The price of guano skyrocketed..The Chilean govt changed from a debt ridden backwater nation t to a budget surplus of billioins of guanp dollars


that guano was fiercely fought over- competinjg guano lusting nations shot at each other- guano surveyor scouts were routinely assassinated..

Why the drama over old bird droppings?

Guano at that time was essential in the manufacture of explosives and gunpowder
Nitrates are still important part of warcraft,
even today, but modern nitrates are made in unlimited quantities from natural gas-

19th Century Europeans used these cheap guano based Chile nitrates to manufacture vast ammounts of explosives to attack each other, overthrow their neibours kings and barons seize the other guys' choice farmlansds and destroy each others armies and navies, Guano allowed desperate peoples to assert themselves as cruel land grabbing Imperialists all over the globe- seize Africa and subjugate Asia, South America and Australia - using guano based firearms as weapons and tools to clear the new lands of opposition by slaughtering the Native inhabitants- then coercing many more of them into slavery


the upside of this story is that guano was also used to create chemical fertilizer for greater crops yields on smaller parcels of land that could now feed millions of people cheaply and efficiently.

.Even animals ate better than at any time in either history or evolution, Thanks to guano, the sustainable planetaryhuman population boom began: and as we can see is still in progress..better living through guano based fertilizers made the cities explode with billions of new people who carved out the nasic infrastructure of the modern world we live in today

The explosive nature of nitrates derived from guano were used to make dynamite to blow tunnels through huge mountains, cut shipping canals through solid rock- build railways across every geographic feature on earth , work mines deep underground to extract metal,coal and precious stones= and launch the first crude rockets to the brush against edges of space.

The inventor of dynamite left his guano based mega fortune to the credit and benefit of future humanity- The Nobel prize

& we owe it all to poop--

and all valuable poop that was merely the accumulated ofal of billions of seabirds eating tiny oily anchovy fish by the trillion from the Pacific Ocean off the coast of S America and pooping them out on these dry rocky island cakes iced with guano

so remember the next time
you are choosing topping options
for your pizza
not only are the anchovies
pre guano flavouring essences
but so are the nitrates
used to preserve the pepperoni

 

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