Wednesday, May. 06, 2009 - 3:13 p.m.
Mr Leftover *********** there is a big fat crabby old cat that lives in the yard next door sometimes he will walk across my back garden on his way somewhere sometimes he will sleep on the woodpile & hiss at my little red cat Taser strolling past i never thought much about him til i discovered his name was -- Mr leftover Today I saw my neibour straightening up the:" for sale" sign on his lawn hoping this would attrract someone with quick money looking for a niceish home on Nowhere Ave He lost his factory job at Christmas and has no prospects for another one he's 60, and starting again is out of the question So now he and his wife have to sell out- cheap and fast and move somewhere else closer totheir grown up daughter in another town in the valley He asked me " Do I want a free cat? " I said I have one- Taser the Amazer he said " then how about keeping an eye on --- Mr Leftover after they move ? " I asked " Who is Mr Leftover?" I learned Mr leftover was at on point in tim a lovely friendly black and white cat that the previous owners of the house 2 doors down once cherished but when they moved away five years ago into an apartment in the evil city they left their so called beloved cat behind like garbage neibour man took pity on the abandoned cat and fed it outside never letting it in the house as his alergic wife could not endure a cat so neibour man years later, dutifully leaves his garage door slightly ajar so that Mr Leftover has a dry place to sleep all winter and in bad weather Mr Leftover has nobody to love or love him back Mr Leftover was abandoned and is still sore about it & Mr Leftover is going to be re abandoned soon and neibour man is concerned that if I don't feed him and provide a dry place for him to live out his last days as a hobo cat then Mr leftover will die a terrible death as a wrap up after living for the most part a terrible life I have seen Mr Leftover skulking around like a spy many times but i just assumed he lived somewhere turns out he doesn't live _anywhere except in a garage hes old and fat and crabby hes half asleep all the time I have seen him sleeping all day in one spot never moving a muscle the spot he fights with Taser for- to keep control of the sun warmed sweet spot in the yard where sporing arrives first his only comfort - his only goal is to sleep and a little cheap kibble here and there he drinks from puddles or eats snow for his water Food is his religion He sleeps so much probably because he is so sad when he's awake maybe he dreams of better times when his human family were still around and he was loved now he lives like garbage and he knows it It all adds up now.. so it was Mr Leftover who beat Taser up all the time when he was little it is Mr Leftover who rips open garbage bags because he is starving and we have been blaming the raccoons It is Mr leftover who pees against everybodys back door because he is mad at everybody for what his ratfink family did to him leaving him behind like garbage
Mr Leftover is probably never going to get over it he is just too crabby too fat and too sleepy to change now.. he is, in the end a bitter old animal everybody is afraid of and only one guilty old guy feeds him -- at a distance not much of an existance if you ask me So when the neibours sell & move on and the new people shut their garage door Mr Leftover will have no place dry to sleep he won't be able to get any garbage to eat from those handsome new vermin proof snap lid plastic containers the municipality offers at cost and everybody is so keen on -trouble is.. Mr Leftover is technically vermin that those containers are proofed against _him.. and he will not be pleased to discover this cruel victory Regional Waste Services has made over him the one cat crime wave every garbage night and he isn't getting any younger and he is not very easy to live with and his sponsors are leaving the area So--who will take care of a bitter fat old narcoleptic cat who pees on your doormat beats up your kitten and molests your garbage? I guess it will be me.. thats the way of this world I have the nicest, happiest cat in the whole world _ Taser and soon i will be cat dad to the crabbiest foulest cat in the world and nearby planets = Mr Leftover what a cat ranch drama that will be- I can hardly wait Taser will have to lump it' if he doesn;t like it.. he will learn compassion maybe the hard way but he will learn to share Paradise with the unworthy unaproachable unreasonable unsanitary unbearable Mr Leftover- the neibourhood asshole cat- I will remodel the garden shed as a seniors apartment for dear old Mr Leftover and feed him in there. maybe set up an old door so he can use it for target practice It may not be much but its my best shot maybe this way he will have one small taste of happiness before he is done with this life If being miserable makes some people better writers' as i recently discovered i bet Mr leftover has 100 novels on the go dozens of movie screenplays and an opera or two if anybody could play the blues and mean it it would be Mr Leftover the renaissance art cat a life of rejection, garbage and dreams
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