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Wednesday, May. 06, 2009 - 3:13 p.m.

Mr Leftover

***********
there is a big fat crabby old cat
that lives in the yard next door
sometimes he will
walk across my back garden
on his way somewhere
sometimes
he will sleep on the woodpile
& hiss at my little red cat Taser strolling past
i never thought much about him
til i discovered his name was
-- Mr leftover

Today I saw my neibour
straightening up
the:" for sale" sign on his lawn
hoping this would attrract
someone with quick money
looking for a niceish home
on Nowhere Ave

He lost his factory job at Christmas
and has no prospects for another one
he's 60, and starting again
is out of the question
So now he and his wife
have to sell out- cheap and fast
and move somewhere else
closer totheir grown up daughter
in another town in the valley

He asked me " Do I want a free cat? "
I said I have one- Taser the Amazer
he said " then how about
keeping an eye on
--- Mr Leftover
after they move ? "
I asked " Who is Mr Leftover?"

I learned Mr leftover was
at on point in tim
a lovely friendly black and white cat
that the previous owners of the house
2 doors down once cherished
but when they moved away
five years ago
into an apartment in the evil city
they left their
so called beloved cat behind
like garbage

neibour man took pity on
the abandoned cat
and fed it outside
never letting it in the house
as his alergic wife could not endure a cat
so neibour man years later,
dutifully leaves his garage door slightly ajar
so that Mr Leftover has a dry place to sleep
all winter and in bad weather

Mr Leftover has nobody to love
or love him back
Mr Leftover was abandoned
and is still sore about it
& Mr Leftover is going to be
re abandoned soon
and neibour man
is concerned that if I don't feed him
and provide a dry place for him to live
out his last days as a hobo cat
then Mr leftover will die
a terrible death
as a wrap up after living
for the most part
a terrible life

I have seen Mr Leftover
skulking around like a spy
many times but i just assumed
he lived somewhere
turns out he doesn't live
_anywhere except in a garage

hes old and fat and crabby
hes half asleep all the time
I have seen him sleeping
all day in one spot
never moving a muscle
the spot he fights with Taser for-
to keep control of the sun warmed
sweet spot in the yard
where sporing arrives first
his only comfort -
his only goal is to sleep
and a little cheap kibble
here and there
he drinks from puddles
or eats snow for his water
Food is his religion

He sleeps so much
probably because he is so sad
when he's awake
maybe he dreams of better times
when his human family
were still around and he was loved
now he lives like garbage
and he knows it


It all adds up now..
so it was Mr Leftover
who beat Taser up
all the time when he was little
it is Mr Leftover who rips open
garbage bags because he is starving
and we have been blaming the raccoons
It is Mr leftover
who pees against
everybodys back door
because he is mad at everybody
for what his ratfink family did to him
leaving him behind like garbage

Mr Leftover is probably never
going to get over it
he is just too crabby
too fat and too sleepy
to change now..
he is, in the end
a bitter old animal
everybody is afraid of
and only one guilty old guy feeds him
-- at a distance

not much of an existance if you ask me

So when the neibours sell & move on
and the new people shut their garage door
Mr Leftover will have no place dry to sleep
he won't be able to get
any garbage to eat
from those handsome new
vermin proof snap lid plastic containers
the municipality offers at cost
and everybody is so keen on
-trouble is..
Mr Leftover is technically vermin
that those containers
are proofed against _him..
and he will not be pleased to discover
this cruel victory
Regional Waste Services has made over him
the one cat crime wave
every garbage night

and he isn't getting any younger
and he is not very easy to live with
and his sponsors are leaving the area

So--who will take care of a
bitter fat old narcoleptic cat
who pees on your doormat
beats up your kitten
and molests your garbage?

I guess it will be me..
thats the way of this world
I have the nicest, happiest cat
in the whole world _ Taser
and soon i will be cat dad
to the crabbiest foulest
cat in the world and nearby planets
= Mr Leftover

what a cat ranch drama that will be-
I can hardly wait

Taser will have to lump it'
if he doesn;t like it..
he will learn compassion
maybe the hard way
but he will learn to share
Paradise with the unworthy
unaproachable
unreasonable
unsanitary
unbearable
Mr Leftover-
the neibourhood asshole cat-

I will remodel the garden shed
as a seniors apartment for
dear old Mr Leftover
and feed him in there.
maybe set up an old door
so he can use it for target practice

It may not be much
but its my best shot
maybe this way he will have
one small taste of happiness
before he is done with this life

If being miserable
makes some people better writers'
as i recently discovered
i bet Mr leftover
has 100 novels on the go
dozens of movie screenplays
and an opera or two
if anybody could play the blues
and mean it it would be Mr Leftover
the renaissance art cat
a life of rejection,
garbage and dreams

 

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