Sunday, Jan. 24, 2010 - 11:51 p.m.
Welcome to Facebook
*********************
I have had facebook for two weeks now
and already I am in over my head
Crush target
appeared with a friend request
the first day I signed up
I must have mentioned
I was taking the FB plunge
to someone we both know
in no time flat
we slipped into chat mode
sometimes late into the night
which is uncharacteristic
for either of us
to chase the dawn
after a full day of regular life
she works at a staight job
and needs her sleep
but won;t let me go
even when i remind her
she is eating into
her precious zzzz time
she always has something to say
& is so interesting
smart and original
I can't help but draw her into
layers of discussion
but I insist she gets horizontal
so she doesn't get fired
for sleeping on the job
now
two weeks later
I see on her FB status
she is " in a relationship "
oh shit-
I have to say goodbye
to her
and _fast
I don't trespass
no matter how happy
I think i deserve to be
my heart drops like an anchor
into cold dark water
and a lot of chain plays out
but i shake off disappointment
and tell myself
friends don't dump friends
nor do they hit on each other
maybe Tom Cat feelings
clouded my better judgement
and I can't blame facebook
that brought us into
easy proximity
too fast
& furious
I better smarten up
or 3 people will be sorry
But we were decent
and friendly
we didn't say or imply
anything we will regret later
Smart confident chicks
with their own ideas
are so rare in this world-
and an easy happy took root
comfortably between us-
many laughs and insights
whispered poetry and shared dreams
-but what did i think i was doing?
and tonight
while slicing onions
I wondered who she might be
" in a relationship " ...with ??
She never mentioned
anybody special in the wings
or ever spoke in terms of " we "
when she talked cooking,
going out
shopping
or on errands
doing laundry
or chores
she seemed like
a solo act
just like me
Now I am baffled
as to how I
missed _every _signal
she might have been
" in a relationship "
when we started to
get friendly on demand
and passed little secrets
planned little projects
and shared little things
that made us happy
She is a very decent
straight forward person
& I am completely messed up
here she is
" in a relationship"
all of a sudden
I better
find out
with who
and soon
