Saturday, Mar. 06, 2010 - 12:52 a.m.
Status Change ************** well Crushette and me have chatted a few times of late not so late at night its all very friendly la la but I am puzzled by some Youtube videos she posted when I played them they are weird I wondered why she chose such songs with such lyrics and such drama and such messages by such dark artists sharing such dark messages but hey- I am just a sensitive guy who reads patterns of poetry into everyday life to try and understand the more subtle nature of the people I know in this world or wonders we share for the time being All I can say is if I shared such a collection of videos on Facebook to a short list of well meaning beloved friends I would be crying out for help like, as in way over my head SOS need some rescue hoping someone who knew me could read me and break the spell with a towtruck sized response Crushette is first & foremost a friend who makes sense in subtle ways who can do art, write and make music who has a fine lively mind and an original view of the world its sincere affection that hit a wall when the " married " thing appeared Its just my tough luck I fell hard for her how I did when I did when maybe I shouldn't have ever at all but because we were good to each other' at all times there are no lingering regrets It was a shock though to learn she was married.. nothing ventured' nothing claimed so I see her FB entry tonight look up her status and see she describes herself as............ "widowed" WTF?? she is rather jolly for someone whos' husband just died unless - considering the nature of the videos she posted and her history of relationship turbidity- and rather frantic last couple of weeks maybe thats her way of saying her and her guy are through like _seriously through like 9.8 earthquake crashing down destroying everything forever sort of through I never met the guy don;t know anything about him but her brothers best friend told me in passing her guy is a primo jerk who doesn't make sense and that her whole family deeply regrets that she hooked up with him in the first place.. So somebody says big deal She was a free agent when I spoke to her Now I recall Crushette mentioning that certain people in her life' give her a _very hard time & are unecessarily cruel I never knew who they were but I do know her family as warm and loving people all her family are her refuge all her friends are good people So was the husband person whom she has sudden declared instant and recent widowhood from her gently hinted at abuser ? That's just a little too weird for me to deal with in a rational way
That would explain a lot but I don't know for sure' I don't know anything for sure especially in this department I suck as a Romeo I just want to have an unguarded friendship with somebody I truly like' who truly likes me in return But thats not how the 21st century is working out in the relationship side of things So I am watching & waiting staying busy being content living my happy life on my terms I can't go wrong if I can still find the time to be happy Maybe i will send a grieving widow flowers and take my chances at noble friendship
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