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Saturday, Mar. 06, 2010 - 12:52 a.m.

Status Change
**************

well Crushette and me
have chatted a few times
of late not so late at night
its all very friendly la la
but I am puzzled by
some Youtube videos she posted

when I played them
they are weird
I wondered why
she chose such songs
with such lyrics
and such drama
and such messages
by such dark artists
sharing such dark messages
but hey-
I am just a sensitive guy
who reads patterns of poetry
into everyday life
to try and understand
the more subtle nature
of the people I know
in this world or wonders
we share for the time being

All I can say is
if I shared
such a collection of videos
on Facebook to a short list
of well meaning beloved friends
I would be
crying out for help
like, as in way over my head
SOS need some rescue
hoping someone who knew me
could read me
and break the spell
with a towtruck sized response

Crushette is first & foremost
a friend
who makes sense in subtle ways
who can do art, write and make music
who has a fine lively mind
and an original view of the world
its sincere affection
that hit a wall when the
" married " thing appeared

Its just my tough luck
I fell hard for her
how I did when I did
when maybe I shouldn't have
ever at all
but because we were good
to each other'
at all times
there are no
lingering regrets
It was a shock though
to learn she was married..
nothing ventured'
nothing claimed

so I see her FB entry tonight
look up her status
and see she describes herself
as............
"widowed"

WTF?? she is rather jolly for
someone whos' husband just died
unless -
considering
the nature of the videos she posted
and her history of
relationship turbidity-
and rather frantic
last couple of weeks
maybe thats her way
of saying her and her guy
are through
like _seriously through
like 9.8 earthquake
crashing down
destroying everything forever
sort of through

I never met the guy
don;t know anything about him
but her brothers best friend
told me in passing
her guy is a primo jerk
who doesn't make sense
and that her whole family
deeply regrets
that she hooked up with him
in the first place..
So somebody says
big deal

She was a free agent
when I spoke to her
Now I recall Crushette mentioning
that certain people in her life'
give her a _very hard time
& are unecessarily cruel
I never knew who they were
but I do know her family
as warm and loving people all
her family are her refuge
all her friends are good people


So was the husband person
whom she has sudden declared
instant and recent widowhood from
her gently hinted at abuser ?
That's just a little too weird
for me to deal with
in a rational way

That would explain a lot
but I don't know for sure'
I don't know anything for sure
especially in this department

I suck as a Romeo
I just want to have
an unguarded friendship
with somebody I truly like'
who truly likes me in return
But thats not how
the 21st century
is working out
in the
relationship
side of things
So I am watching & waiting
staying busy
being content
living my happy life
on my terms
I can't go wrong
if I can still
find the time
to be happy

Maybe i will send
a grieving widow flowers
and take my chances
at noble friendship


 

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