Friday, May. 28, 2010 - 11:32 p.m.
Yesterday's Mail
****************
I got a pen on paper
written letter
in the snail mail yesterday
it was chubby with
several sheets of paper
a hand written address
and a bunch of
low denomination stamps
I recognised the handwriting
& the return address
it as from an ex gf
from whew!
not exactly recently
I took it home
and made tea
and opened it to see what
she deal was on about
that it took
an old fashioned
pen on paper letter
to get across
even after all this time
she was sorry
sorry about everything
sorry about how she treated me
sorry I was not in her life
sorry about this
sorry about that
sorry about the guy
she took up with
sorry she cheated on me
sorry I found out how I did
sorry she didn;t explain
sorry she was sorry
that's a lot of sorry
in her sorry state
she was treating me better
than she had in real life
actually acknowledged I existed
with feelings
and dreams
and direction
beyond just playing
a supporting role
in her life drama
and now thanking me
for always being there for her
always treating her right
always loving & respectful
genuine and loyal
etc you get the idea
a whole lot of
way too late realization
will i forgive her?
now that she knows
but too late
I was the one
but she had chosen forbidden love
that didn't endure
where she was badly treated
and cheated on in turn
left without hope or purpose in a loveless limbo
of doubt and worry
she feels she wasted
actually _ years of her life
and is just waking up now
from a bad dream
hurting and alone
sorry about everything
dead inside
will i forgive her?
now that she realizes
some years too late
that I was the one?
Oh No you don't
I do not
need this crap
right now or ever.
Letter gets thrown in
the crazy drawer
with bits of stuff
that doesn't matter
that maybe used to matter
that i recognise when I see it
but wouldn't miss
if it disappeared forever
this was so unexpected
all this regret and respect
in a number 10 envelope
sentiments so very uncharacteristic
of the girl I knew
a million years ago
then i saw
the date on the letter
written in her own hand
composed in 2006
am i to believe
she wrote that letter
four years ago
and just got around to
mailing it last week ?
the postmark was
from last week
but the contents were
fossilized sentiments
that were even then
too little & too late
and they are just
cold black & white fiction now
- ouch
not that it makes
any difference
at this point
as that was all
a million years ago
and I am not
a million years old
anymore
I need a vacation
and luckily one is
coming up tomorrow
fossil hunting with friends
on the Niagara escarpment
far away from
the time machine drama
from yesterdays mail
