Tuesday, Aug. 10, 2010 - 11:24 p.m.
Freedom of Associations
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Tonight I made a big curry�I haven;t eaten well all week
its just been to hot
so I made a coconut sauce
and poured it over rice
and pan fried tofu
and put it all into
a tupperwear container
'and took it down to the beach
to enjoy
Well I arrived at the beach
and was walking over
to a nice big boulder
to sit and eat
when I noticed a big dead
lake cormorant bird
on the beach ahead
so I walked around it
and set up on the boulder
While I was eating
and enjoying the water
I glanced over
at the big dead bird
and saw that it was gently moving
even the wings were moving
and the head was bobbing a little
I put my dinner down
put on the snap down lid
and walked over to investigate
and when I got up close
I could see why
the dead bird was moving:
It was being eaten
by tens of thousands
of beige�maggots
all furiously knawing away
at their washed up prize.
it was sort of fascinating seeing
those boiling multitudes
of tiny determined wigglers
chowing down
on the late Mr Cormorant
but I didn;t need to
get too close to
get the full effect
of the fury of the maggots
Oh well, they have
their dinner tonight
and I had mine
When I returned to my dinner
I popped off the lid
and then in shock jumped back
and knocked my head
against a big stone
I looked at my own beige rice
and imagined for a split second
that it was the maggots
swarming my dinner
so fresh was the image in my mind
of the dead bird
and so very similar were
the �profiles of rice and maggots
I had a tough time
recapturing
the desire to eat that rice
but I decided I would
consciously re arrange
my short term memory
and adjust my pattern recognition
and tell myself that
I had some delicious
coconut curry rice here
and this had nothing to do
with the Hong Kong rush hour
of maggots over there
I had worked too hard
making this supper
to let my own mind wreck it
by creating a state of
super charged panic caution
based on an illusion
So yeah, i satisfied myself
that the rice was good and near
and the maggots were bad and far away but still I double checked
and then i ruled my mind
and thought to myself�delicious rice
eat it and enjoy it
eat it all
conquer the little panic
take charge of the situation
stirr it up a little
and keep eating
its all in the unconscious overview
its all in the symbol management dept
I wonder what other irrational
reactive mind crap is trying to have it's way with me?
My own brain is out to get me
heck i don't need enemies
with this sort of sensitivity
maggots resemble rice:
rice does _not resemble maggots
thats my story
& I';m sticking with it
I even have leftovers
to look forward to for tomorrow
but them again, so do the maggots
