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Friday, Oct. 05, 2012 - 5:18 p.m.

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My fondest memory of kindergarten is the teacher dolloping out fist sized wads of wet asbestos to each pupil so we could make ... ashtrays.

We had all brought in sharp edged tin can lids that we pushed into the bottom to ensure butts were snubbed out reeeeeeal good.

Wet asbestos is very chewy, and easy to swallow.. I can tell you that it does not tickle going down.

I can still recall my ashtray,, dark blue with orange polka dots but it was rarely used as it was way too small to contain the butts of two major huffing adults. It eventually got left underwater in a sink full of abandoned dishes for a couple of days and turned to asbestos slime which covered every eating surface with a thin layer of asbestos dust. It's mineral fibres stuck between the fork tines for weeks.. and it still didn't get chewy

Of the box of 500 wooden matches my Mom would buy once a month, I probably set off 250 of them recreation ally. Red Phosphorus match heads take a minute or two to soften up in your mouth but they do, and those things_ are chewy.. how else can you get blank full length wooden match sticks for crafts?

 

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