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Sunday, May. 18, 2014 - 10:44 a.m.

Jolly Old Mr Beaver
********************


I once tried to explain
what beavers do
to a mainland chinese lady
during her first time
out of China

She was in amsterdam on business
as government business translator
for hemp factories doing European orders
She was seriously suffering culture shock
in the company of undisciplined
Caucasians showing off to each other
and very drunk

As neither of us drank
we made polite sober conversation
looking on at the antics
of our come-by-chance peer group

I explained I was not American
but Canadian'; very different
although we do look all the same
she smiled politely
but didm;t seem to approve
of any of us

On occasion a drunk American'
would call me beaver
leave it to beaver etc
as that was his one
Canadian culture template
Its the thought that counts
even if it is breathing loud booze breath
right in your face

To avoid politics & entertain her
I explained about beavers
to my icey cold Chinese tame friend
and attempted to set the story intro
an ideal Chinese community format
so that she could identify and appreciate it

I told her how families of beavers
several generations
live and work together
chew through huge trees with their mouths
like skilled engineers
and build dams so big
people sometimes have to be blown up
with dynamite and release millions of gallons
of backed up water
A family of beavers can flood a hundred acres
easily to build their own private lake
they build large wooden homes
where they winter over together
and they store up food
and guard each other
they are very similar to Canadian people
hunkering down and sharing everything
and never waging war on anyone
work for the common good
their food is wood
they live in paradise of nature

Chinese lady thought i was putting her on
and was annoyed at me playing her for a fool
I swore that I was telling the truth
but since she didn't believe in God'
I just made matters worse
So I pulled out a canadian nickel
from my coat pocket
and showed it to her

she broke out laughing
uncontrollable
'and asked between giggle blasts
in a perfect oxford accent
was I teasing her again ?

I said no, this is our real money
I brought it from home, Canada
she turned the nickel around and around
laughing tears of hilarity
shaking her head in disbelief

our American host assured her
I was indeed Canadian
and been in the woods
and had studied beavers up close
beavers were, in fact our national symbol
he had never himself seen a beaver
in downtown Chicago
and yes this was real Canadian money
I am funny guy
but don't lie to get a laugh

she laughed even harder
pointing at the images on the nickel
shaking with hilarity
Is this the money of your country?
pointing at the lioness of Queen Elizabeth
and the beaver on the reverse side

" A woman and a rat ? "

 

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