Sunday, May. 19, 2019 - 12:02 a.m.
A coworker accused me, in front of all my coworkers and some clients, of stealing design ideas from a well known designer and calling them my own.
It was both untrue and uncalled for. It had nothing to do with the presentation I was making, and pulled the show off the rails and into a swamp of his imagination. It hit me like a poisoned needle into my heart, and I suppose he planned that.
I let him run his mouth. I let him go on and on about the special abilities he had to detect deceptions in our field of work. It was clear he was completely full of shit and had no basis for his claim. But, since he deliberately tried to destroy my credibility in front of my friends, coworkers and clients, so I was honour bound to respond with friendly fire.
I asked him where did he see the work the famous designer produced based on my designs? The room laughed as my accuser tried to correct me, but I went on.. with a certain laid back gusto.
“OK”, i told my accuser, “You bring me that example and I’ll pay you five bucks. If you can't find it and bring it in, then you owe me five bucks, unless you want to raise the stakes to $100… to make it more interesting. I have $100 and can show it, do you have $100 you can show?”
My accuser became furious, and hissed he doesn’t bet. “Ok, we’ll do it your way. Bring your evidence in for free and save me five bucks” - which pretty much won me the debate - especially after the confused and mildly pissed off client offered to kick in $5 just so I could continue with my presentation. I assured the client I would easily win the $100, since I did not steal anyone’s design, I’d take him out for a drink with the winnings.
To the accuser I asked aloud: “What's good day to wrap that all up? When can you bring in your evidence??” All eyes were now on the accuser… “It’s your call, when can you bring in the evidence, or admit there isn’t any evidence forthcoming?”
Hilarious response all round… The accuser rushed out of the room to smoke several cigarettes on the sidewalk below, and I finished the presentation.
The result was my accuser hated me with poison daggers across the room for months. He just couldn’t believe I would stand up to his bitchy assassination attempts, and burn him down so completely without blinking.
Just like what Bugs Bunny would have done in the same situation.
