Friday, Nov. 22, 2019 - 2:43 p.m.
What is the most inappropriate experience you have had with a neighbour?
the guy in the apartment below me
was constantly trying to commit suicide
One hot summer evening I smelled gas
and tracked it downstairs
I peeked in his kitchen window
and saw Walter with his head in the gas oven
I broke the kitchen door window and let myself in uninvited
to pull Walter out of the oven,
and switch off the gas, Gas everywhere — gas rises and Walter was on the floor —he was not receiving the benefit of his labours but I was. The gas rushed past me through the open door It was creepy- one spark and I would be blown to smithereens. I yelled righteous abuse at zoned out Walter for endangering the entire building with his latest clumsy attempt at suicide.
This was back when everybody was pretending to be a hippy and it was seriously viewed as “ uncool” to lose your temper or actually become morally enraged.
Maybe Walter wanted to die but I certainly wanted to live and committed every trespass I required to remain alive and save Walter
I called 911— and explained- cops and ambulance arrived, I gave a statement and someone took Walter away. He finally got the help he needed…surrounded by dumb hippies nobody wanted to “ aggress on his space “ … That was the last anybody saw of Walter
and at the end of the month a nice family moved in
to his former apartment.
I never mentioned to them
why that flat had become suddenly available
but at least I knew the gas oven worked