Friday, Sept. 04, 2020 - 12:13 a.m.
Romeo is Bleeding
***********************
My neighbour is a terrific guy.
Hard working, always friendly
He lives alone
he's been divorced for several years
after a dozen or so years of marriage.
He doesn't;t talk much about those days
but I get the impression the experience
tore him up bad
and so he just works and drinks and watches TV
Golf on the weekends and the occasional
300 km drive to see a concert of some
obscure rock era performer he didn't see when he was younger.
Old music is his life now
he always has some old music playing
day or night whenever is home and awake.
This summer he sort of dated a crazy woman
with a sort of crazy 14 yr old daughter
Id see them all at weekend BarB Qs at his place
I could hear the old music wafting from his backyard
and the flames of his bonfire dancing along to the beat
as the three of them ate meat and drank beer
yah, even the 14 year old daughter drank with them
They all seemed happy enough all summer
during the Covid lockdown
His weekend yard feats were the only social interaction
the three of them had for months
One night after Midnight recently
I could hear him drunker than usual
talking loudly on his phone while he paced
up and down his driveway the dark
I walked the cats past and respectfully ignored him
Further up the highway
I passed the crazy woman alone and .
also drunk and talking loud on her phone.
They were on the phone to each other
They were breaking up in the darkness
Out of respect I ignored both
drunken shouting romantic partners
it was none off my business
What small happy summer times they had
was all over now
They were both suddenly single people
neither of them were young anymore
Finding new people to date in this tiny town
was going to be very difficult
if not impossible .
that also was none of my business
That all went down two weeks ago
mid August during a heat wav
Tonight my neighbour is _very drunk
and playing his old music _very loud
.. but nobody will complain
Its therapeutic music
its not loud for no reason
We can all tell by the selection of old songs
that he is choosing lyrics that
are helping him to confront his deepest
most vulnerable emotions
that are contemporary to
his recent disappointment
I can see him shake his head
and smooth his hair repeatedly
and hear him gasp for air
as if he was drowning
Maybe he is drowning
in regret and Jagermeister
and the one eyed red glow of a fat joint
he is smoking all by himself in the darkness
Men in love are reckless creatures
foolishly hopeful against hope
tortured by demons
waiting for angels
and pumping alcohol and pot into
their furnaces of pain
Too old to love again
Too tired to fight
any more emotional battles
too suspicious of love
if it ever appeared again
Love is either worth it
or it isn't .. Its up to us
to decide and then
do it or don't
Nobody else is watching
Nobody else cares
Nobody else can do anything about it
Nobody will ever know
if we win or lose in the game of love
It's our own business
there are no prizes
there are no penalties
there is only hope
and old music
