Monday, Aug. 20, 2007 - 8:54 p.m.
10:30 monday morning
a luxury sedan pulls up
in my humble driveway
out steps an older lady
bubbly & animated
but incoherient
" your small ginger kitten..
is he here?
I mean if he lives here
he's not here he's at Vivians place"
>>Oh thank you
that would be Jinky
" she lives at uh..
uh over on Johnson
and she's been feeding him milk "
>> thank you where on Jognson please?
" oh let's see,
I,m frightfully bad at directions
shes set in from the road
lovely garden..
and her husband is alergic to cats!
she's put him out in the garage
the cat.. not her husband !"
>> I see
" now where is she?
" nearish Centre street.
but not right by Centre..
big red wheelbarrow on the lawn
shes using it today
you can't miss it..
sorry but I can't stay
I have to be in the city"
and then she drove off
so I hauled out the phone book
and cross referenced
the last name she gave me
with the street name she suggested
and called a few numbers
before an equally charming
but vacant older woman
answered sweetly
and confirmed she had my cat there,
" yes he's here ,,
yes .. a red cat,..
hes here safe in the garage
no need to worry "
she gave me her address
I agreed to come right over and fetch him
she would stay right there and seliver him up
So I went right over
to the retired millionares
side of town
knocked at the perfect door
of a smart crisply rendered home
that looked like it was right out of the pages of a House & Garden magazine,,
there were blue cast iron arm chairs
and matching benches in the front garden
a huge sundial,
a series of baroque birdbaths
various windchimes,
handblown glass hummingbird feeders
various inspirational message tiles
a teak bench just to sit on to take your shoes off
etc etc etc
there was so much garden furnature
strewed around their yard
it was downright uncomfortable
it looked like a department store showroom
they seemed to have
one of everything ever invented
for thediscerning garden affectionato
I took one look at the front enterance
at the apex of the red brick circular drive
with its huge twin white pillars
and lifesizes concrete lions
and realized i didn't have my passport
and may not be admitted into agricultural Oz
so I opted for the side door
I knocked and could smell fresh paint
wafting through the screen door
through two sets of doors
out there on the terrace outback
I could see a human being
kneeling on a drop sheet
painting a large cast iron flower pot
morning glory blue
I shouted a hello
and the figure seemed puzzled
but got up and came to the door
It was the lady of the house herself
she apologised for looking like a disaster
but she was painting today
old clothes are a must
when you are painting
I stood back and announced
that I was red cats official owner
and had come to fetch him
" yes.. yes hes here
you must take better care of him
so he doesn't run off again "
she invited me round the side door
as the great garage door
can only be opened by
one of those remote devices
which was her husbands department
she opened the little door
and out stepped Jinky
none the less for wear
12 hrs of solitary confinement
in the big house lock up
and i could see he was not
sporting any nasty jail tattoos
nor was he wearing any gang colours
or carrying a concealed weapon
I was relieved that Jinky
had not been anyones bitch
while holed up in the clink..
I could sence that the lady
was more interested
in returning to her
flower pot paint task
than chatting with a
cat recovery squad
so I thanked her
and zoomed home with Jinky
and fed him tuna
as soon as he got in the door
because food is love
and love requires catering
I was very glad to have him back
Jinky seemed releived I posted bail
fior him and sprung him
from a maximun security garage
its better he didn't move in there
with that lady
and her decoration projects
it would be
just a matter of time
before Jinky
would have been
painted blue
to match
her design scheme
