Saturday, Nov. 30, 2019 - 12:15 a.m.
Dating again is curious It easy to want to its hard to do it right I like this girl, she likes me its a good fit and nobody has said or done anything either we would regret later Thats a huge plus I have known her for a long time- years I could always talk to her easily in a friendly neutral setting when it was cool we would nod in comic disapproval of whoever she was dating
we both knew even at the time she could have done better How dare I ? How dare I dare not ! I respect how she goes about things. She has always been decent in thought word and deed and, as I noticed and mentioned not always suitably rewarded for her efforts What she has accomplished and built so far : her bucket list seems reasonable to me She's so beautiful she scares people and she knows it That's hilarious and she uses this to her advantage as the situation requires Why not ? I do the same with my weapons grade wit and robust imagination powers I am just waiting for the opportunity to really talk about our real lives as we have lived them so far not to learn dramatic crimes or hidden treasure but to lift the hood & evaluate our true performance level and honestly discern ....
Can / Should we take this somewhere ?
Likely so in my estimation but without the madness of romance clouding our vision I think she';s waiting for me to offer a plan/proposal/ Well fair enough .. she can say yes or no I know her sisters and many of her friends we have a lot of the same people in common they are for the most part sane and sober with something happening in their lives beyond hockey and going out for drinks They all love her for the treasure she is and are watching me closely as I circle her ...and so they should ! - I have researched high end cameras for the last two weeks 'narrowed down the make and model that best suits me I ordered the best one I could get online-confirmed shipment and am waiting for it to arrive Then I can begin my new life as an upscale photo guy That camera will be happier with me in the field & studio than on display in some store I will be very glad to have this camera I worked so hard to earn I will take good care of her let her do what she does best and together, we will seek out and document the wonders of life answering to nobody but ourselves This is a serious assignment- I understand this is a challenge and a duty and a transformative joy I will no longer be working alone I will have to always be mindful of the light - forever. This is a wonderful camera with great potential I am a serious cameraman I ordered extra batteries so we will always be ready to shoot anything anywhere anytime except maybe underwater Back to romance or maybe I never really changed subjects I am ready to be happy I am ready to make big changes and work towards what pleases someone else and myself- serving the greater idea of.... us
We're grown ups we can't hide in mystery like kids do Our task is to break through to the other side So far we are doing ok in time, our past experiences will be distant blurry memories and all we will really remember, past that point is how well we treated each other I don't want to do anything that will create regret I want to make good memories and keep that habit strong So I welcome this late onset romance Nobody is more surprised than me just as I was settling in for long haul bachelor life sober, disciplined, dedicated, brave and grateful KA BOOM !! this happens.. I'll have to really start paying much closer attention to the noble art of cherishing someone else now that someone else is in my gravitational pull I am in no hurry but I have no time to waste I might have to endure Netflix and walking a dog and the smell of cooking meat my cats will just have to forgive me for loving someone else besides them there's plenty of love for everyone come and get it
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